2015-16 NCAA All-Namericans
What’s in a name?
Cliché – I know – starting off with a William Shakespeare quote, but it’s just too relevant not to use. If you’re like me and enjoy watching more than just your favorite college basketball team play twice a week, you sometimes surf the channels and find yourself watching riveting NCAA basketball games between two powerhouses like Norfolk State and Bethune-Cookman. Amongst other things, one of the main differences that becomes evident when watching smaller schools is the phenomenal names some of the players possess. It’s even more fun to hear someone like Dick Vitale try to pronounce some of these crazy names on live TV.
So if you like crazy names, then you’ve come to the right place, because here are my First and Second All-Namerican Teams:
Center – Egidijus Mockevicius (Evansville)
Look, if you have a total of nine vowels in your first and last name combined, then there’s something special about you. There’s something special about this kid too, who, at 17.3 points and 14 rebounds per game, is one of the best mid-major student athletes in the country.
Forward – Goodluck Okonoboh (UNLV)
Thanks, Liam. With not even half of the season gone and already down a head coach, UNLV is going to need twice the Goodluck to make the dance. With such a strong recruiting class in 2015, you would expect the Rebels to be much better, but they aren’t.
Forward – Shayok Shayok (UMKC)
I’m a big fan of sending “Hey hey” whenever I start a text conversation. You know, like the old saying goes: twice is nice. Shayok plays for Kangaroos too, so that’s fun.
Guard – Lourawls “Tum Tum” Nairn Jr. (Michigan State)
Story goes that “Tum Tum” got his name after a movie in 1992 called “3 Ninjas”. Nairn could have just kept his first name and still possibly be on this list. Well done, Mr. and Mrs. Nairn.
Guard – Lionheart Leslie (Cal State Fullerton)
If only the lion in the Wizard of Oz had been looking for a heart, then this name would have been 100x better. Regardless, his first name sounds like the name of a warrior, and his last name is a woman’s first name. 100% backwards. 500% awesome.
Sixth Man – Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk (Kansas)
Your guess is as good as mine. The only reason this guy isn’t in the starting lineup is because he has only eight vowels instead of Mockevicius’ nine.
Center – DouDou Gueye (South Carolina State)
I’m still a kid at heart, and this guy’s first name is DouDou. ‘Nuff said.
Forward – Roger Moute a Bidias (California)
This reminds me of former Milwaukee Buck Luc Richard Mbah a Moute. I don’t know if they’re related in any way, but they should be.
Forward – Pierfrancesco Oliva (St. Joseph’s)
If Buddy the Elf thinks Francisco is fun to say, imagine what he would think of the name Pierfrancesco. Yeah, Buddy, I’m right there with ya.
Guard – Kevin Booze (Lamar)
Booze, eh? Hopefully this guy cuts out the drinking pre-game. That could be costly to his team’s already low 9-7 record.
Guard – DelFincko Bogan (Jacksonville State)
I just really like the name DelFincko. Is that so wrong?
Sixth Man – Giddy Potts (MTSU)
This guy’s first name sounds like the reaction that somebody would have as a result of his surname. Cause and effect? More like effect and cause.
Do you like names? Maybe you like hair, too. Check out fellow writer Joe Mondello’s Premier League “Best Hair” Starting XI.
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