25 things to happen if Cubs win World Series
By Charlie O’Donnell
Its been 107 years since the Chicago Cubs won their last World Series (the longest championship drought in sports today), and many Cubs fans have a pennant in sight. All the North Siders have to do is beat the New York Mets in the NLCS (which won’t be an easy task), and they’ll have reached the World Series for the first time since 1945–that’s 70 years! Yes, baseball is exciting again thanks to the Cubs and their quest to break the Curse and go from lovable losers to world champions. Can they do it? Only these next few weeks will tell. The question no one is asking, though, is what will happen if the Chicago Cubs do win the World Series?
I think I have an answer. Here are twenty five things that will come with a Chicago Cubs championship win.
1.The lovable losers will no longer be losers (obviously)
2.Joe Maddon instantly joins the legendary list of coaches in Chicago of Joel Quenneville, Mike Ditka, Phil Jackson, George “Papa Bear” Halas, and the guy who managed the Cubs’ last World Series title, Frank Chance. Yep. That guy.
3.The Chicago Bears instantly become Chicago’s new lovable (but more frustrating) losers.
4.Wrigley Field will open MORE BATHROOMS! (hey, one can dream)
5.Michael J. Fox becomes an instant hero in Chicago
6.ESPN will cover the Chicago Cubs more than Lebron James’ hairline, Tim Tebow working for them, and Johnny Manziel…doing what Johnny Football does.
7.The Cubs become the most hated team in America by non-baseball fans just because of ESPN’s coverage (You’re welcome New York).
8.Moises Alou will change his statements again for the hundredth time on whether or not he would have caught the foul ball in 2003.
9.Every girl’s dream guy is no longer Channing Tatum… hello Kris Bryant.
(Photo Credit:USA Today)
10.The Chicago Cubs championship shirt becomes the number one purchased item in 2015.
11.White Sox fans will continue to mention how they won in 2005.
12.White Sox fans will continue to avoid any conversation regarding the Black Sox of 1919.
13.Saturday Night Live will try to top their classic Bill Swerski’s skit from the 90’s. (Won’t be the same R.I.P Chris Farley)
14.Celebrities who are die hard fans of the Cubs like UFC fighter CM Punk, Eddie Vedder, and of course the legendary Bill Murray will sing the greatest 7th inning stretch ever at the home opener next season.
15.Someone will steal the Addison St sign.
16.Cubs ticket prices next season will surpass every professional team in America.
17.Many will joke about Cubs fans having to wait another 107 years for another championship (which they won’t but that’s another article for some time in the near future)
18.Jake Arrieta’s beard will become the most common beard seen this generation.
19.Some will say the Cubs mascot Clark is responsible for their success.
20.Jake Arrieta will become a global icon with people asking themselves “What would Arrieta do?”
21.People will yell at themselves for not putting money on the Cubs even though they’ve had almost thirty years to do it.
22.Many people will all of a sudden become the biggest Chicago Cubs fan.
23.Steve Bartman will finally come out of hiding. (but what about his turtleneck?)
(Photo Credit:Chicago Tribune)
24.The apocalypse will happen because the lovable losers aren’t suppose to win.
24.The Curse of the Billy Goat can finally join the Curse of the Bambino in curses broken!
25.The Chicago Cubs will have the biggest sports championship parade of all time.